"Kaleidoscope, I beg you" By Caress Genelle

you asked me to stay, told me to wait,and walked away while I sat waiting...

I'm still waiting.

promises. promises.

I'd like to shatter you.

Everyday If a thought protrudes
I stab myself to the confusion of you
I have wounds.

and I drown myself in the tub of the sorrow in your heart

and still I am sick to think
I really want it.

there was beauty in trying.

hazy smog of a man
a floating lingering gray,

how COULD you?
I can't think straight to replay..

can't. won't.
too many lies entangled with too much truth

and morbidly I wish to the roots
that I died like leaves in the winter
your pale ice
covers me and takes color from my flesh

your breathe,
a dead ice freezing at the start of a beginning

and the end of an ending
because it's everything to me.
forgive me.

denial is the soil in which you root your chasm of any existence
you could have left

and I'd beg a god
to kill me at the sight of your smile

and I even want to burn you
with the way I feel to your touch

I am dieing, yes.
the cause supplied by the beauty
I felt in your kaleidoscope

I wish you never had let go
while your hands diminish the breathe
from my throat. I felt you.

patches of plum on my flesh signal your life inside of me.

I even wished it.

It is a dreadful misery to have hope.

and I think you
wanted the confusion to contain me

in the thought
the lies do not distinguish
different than any truth

but from the yellow bit of life
from your eyes shown..
when I watched the
passion leak in form of words

and how could such green eyes lie?
what contradictions of life.
I don't believe.

spinning on empty responses
becoming just as empty

natural evil in the soil.
I'd prefer to keep the fire.

I felt unfrozen.

empty beds were screaming
of what was stolen.

tears were streaming
of what was broken.

but, only the ache and empty stays.
and the waiting.

I still feel your kaleidoscope surrounding.
its quite frightening.
and I don't care.